It's been just over a year since you passed. A lot has changed for me. I live in a new town. I have a new job and a new apartment. I moved here with the little dog and just two of the cats. I had to leave the other cats behind. The German lady, whose name we never could remember, comes everyday to feed the remaining cats at the house where we used to live.

It's strange, I feel sadder now than I did when you first died. I must have been in shock for a long time. I've never really had anyone die who was so close to me before. I don't know why I can't wrap my mind around the concept of you not being alive anymore. You whet so full of life. It seemed as if you couldn't die.

I don't really know anyone here in town. I spend most of time off work with the little dog. She is a great comfort. I remember how she laid by your side the whole time you were ill. The little dog will never know how much she means to me.

I don't have anyone to talk to about the usual highs and lows of life right now. I'm sure this lonely phase won't last forever. I miss you, David. I wish you were here. I want to be able to talk to you and tell you all the funny things I see on the drive to work.

Every time I have a problem or feel shy or insecure or misunderstood, it's you I want to run to. You always knew how to make me laugh at my problems. You had good advice about stuff. You are the only person who ever really got me.

I miss those evenings when we used to listen to music and make art together. Those ten years we were married were the best years of my life. I know my life isn't over and that I may find someone else one day. I have hard time believing that he will be able to make me laugh as loud as you did. . Or appreciate the simple joys of life as much as you did.. Or notice all the awesome wonder of the world as you did.. Or dance as hard ad you did......

You sure are a hard act to follow....and an impossible man to forget..

I love you, David....Goodnight ...